Profane Music: Grand Funk Railroad

[Warning: May Contain Elements of Satire and Sarcasm]

In the words of Connie Chastain, I must issue “my apologies in advance for the utter filth of the lyrics posted below the video, but it is necessary for people to understand what is being blasted [by] the VaFlaggers” and their proponents. In one of her more recent posts, Connie sends out the message to the counter protester Goat Gatsby. 

Listen up, Goat Gatsby. THIS is REAL rock and roll MUSIC.
Ladies and gentlemen, GRAND FUNK RAILROOOOOOOAD!

Yes, Grand Funk Railroad. The  rock band that was popular in the 70s, but completely overshadowed by performers with talent.  Connie supports this type of music because it is “real…music.” It definitely does not contain any of the profane lyrics that Connie associates with Rap. Just look at the sheer poetic lyrics of “We’re An American Band,” Grand Funk Railroad’s first number one single. All of my notes, will be in bold. 

“We’re an American  Band”

Out on the road for forty days (on tour)
Last night in Little Rock, put me in a haze (Great show, awesome vibe)
Sweet, sweet Connie was doin’ her act (reference to “Sweet” Connie Hamzy, a noted groupie)
She had the whole show and that’s a natural fact (what do you think?)

Up all night with Freddie King (noted Blues Guitarist)
I got to tell you, poker’s his thing
Booze and ladies, keep me right (life on the road, parties)
As long as we can make it to the show tonight (if you can stand, you can play)
We’re an American band
We’re an American band
We’re comin’ to your town
We’ll help you party it down
We’re an American band

Four young chiquitas in Omaha (groupies)
Waitin’ for the band to return from the show (groupies trying to get with the band)
A feelin’ good, feelin’ right and it’s Saturday night (why not?)
The hotel detective, he was outta sight (no one caught the groupies sneaking in)

Now these fine ladies, they had a plan
They was out to meet the boys in the band
They said, “Come on dudes, let’s get it on!” (coitus)
And we proceeded to tear that hotel down (really good coitus)

We’re an American band
We’re an American band
We’re comin’ to your town
We’ll help you party it down
We’re an American band

We’re an American band
We’re an American band
We’re comin’ to your town
We’ll help you party it down
We’re an American band

[break]

We’re an American band
We’re an American band
We’re comin’ to your town
We’ll help you party it down
We’re an American band

We’re an American band
We’re an American band
We’re comin’ to your town
We’ll help you party it down
We’re an American band

We’re an American band (whooo)
We’re an American band (whooo)
We’re an American band (whooo)

Uh oh, this song is sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll. Is it lewd? Yes. Is it edgy? Definitely. Is it a big cup of ‘Murica awesome? Hell yes. Connie, if you are going to criticize one form of music as filth, you’re going to have a hard time making your argument by placing rock ‘n’ roll on a pedestal.
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12 thoughts on “Profane Music: Grand Funk Railroad

  1. Joey Andrews

    This is extra hilarious to me, I mean what about The Beatles? like 60% of their songs is about drugs and getting stoned. Or how about Led Zeppelin? Trampled Under Foot is just 5 minutes of sex references using cars as a metaphor. I mean at least the rappers are honest about it and up front. They’re not covering their message in metaphor and hiding it, they’re just being up front about what they’re all about, which is the exact same stuff everyone from Bob Dylan to Frank Zappa were all about. The fact is American Rock music was the counter culture, it was drugs, sex, and partying all the time (which notable involved a lot of drugs and sex). Why were all the adults of the 60s/70s terrified of their parents listening to this music? It openly discussed sex and drugs and glorified it. This wasn’t 50s pop, this wasn’t bubble gum doo wop. This was Americana, raw and pure. Rap music is Americana too, it’s just not white washed Americana. Take note how many rock stars have worked with rapper in collaboration though, the lifestyles are entirely the same. If you don’t think Aerosmith loaded up on weed while recording with Run DMC you’re out of your mind.

    The rappers represent another dimension of American culture and life, a life that white people are uncomfortable with and generally afraid of but also played a huge part in causing thanks to things like Jim Crow laws and forced segregation. Do you think anyone wakes up in the morning and thinks “man I hope I get in a shoot out today while being hopelessly unemployed and on welfare!” because pretty sure that makes no one happy. The rappers of the 90’s especially came with a message: The hood is a rough, messed up, terrible place. Black kids are falling between the cracks, no one cares, and they turn to gangs to be their family and support, drugs to ease the pain, and a ‘rock and roll lifestyle’ in it’s purest form. But their Bob Dylan is Revered Run, their rolling stones is the Wu Tang Clan. A Tribe Called Quest and Snoop Dogg wrote their “American Band” and their “Stairway to Heaven”.

    Just because she can’t relate to what she hears and is scared of what centuries of white oppression has wrought upon black culture doesn’t make it less American. In fact it might be more American for its honesty and raw emotion. After all this nation was founded on angry drunks throwing tea in a bay. What’s more American than inhebirated angry gangs trying to get by?

  2. Que se vaya pa'l carajo!

    You’re expecting WAAAAAYYY too much from Ms. Chastain and her peers. Their truthiness has no bounds.

  3. Popular music is often about violence, too, since long before hip-hop. Staggo Lee, Tom Dooley, Mack the Knife, Ain’t It Hard, I Shot the Sheriff, Bad, Bad Leroy Brown, Everglades, You Don’t Mess Around with Jim, Streets of Laredo, El Paso, Seven Spanish Angels — and those are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head.

    Lots of songs revolve around explicit violence, and always have. If you want to hear a song that’s unintentionally funny, look up the cover Lloyd Price did of Stagger Lee for Dick Clark’s American Bandstand — take out the references to gambling and stealing and killing, and it makes no sense at all.

    1. Very true. The person most dissatisfied with the content of this post simply does not understand the cultural, theoretical and historical back ground of music. This is evident in her retort where she used superficial, commercialized, doo-wop songs under the guise of Rock ‘n’ Roll songs.

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